I realised something today that might sound crazy to you. I’m not an entrepreneur. I’m never going to make enough money from my blog to support my family, I think I’ve known this for a while, but what became so clear to me today was that I’m ok with that.
I’m not business minded. I really struggle to turn my ideas into reality and for the last few years, between mothering, blogging, wife-ing, friending, daughtering, sistering, self-ing, I’ve been flogging a dead horse. It’s honestly been like whacking my head against a brick wall. I don’t feel as though I’ve been working towards any of those titles with much success. I’ve been a little bit everywhere and wholey no where.
I mean sure this happened, and then this and this etc, but honestly (and I KNOW this sounds crazy) I didn’t feel proud. It felt as though it happened to me, like a wave. It didn’t feel like it was something that I had worked towards.
I’ve been making a little money, you know that. With my sourdough ebook, my Buy What You Need ebook and the sourdough workshops, and I’m not going to stop these. I’m also going to continue sharing affiliate links for things that I love. This money absolutely helps.
What I am going to stop, is stressing about getting three posts up a week (which, honestly I’ve been pretty terrible at really), writing the weekly newsletter (it may still happen, who knows) and there are some things I’m going to start doing too. I want to write about sustainable fashion, how all my wardrobe comes from the opshop, about fun things we get up to day to day. I’m going to write posts and then upload them immediately, instead of scheduling them for the ‘right’ day. I’m still going to share videos on YouTube (please subscribe if you haven’t already) because I LOVE making little videos. I’m going to keep sharing posts as I feel like writing them, and I can’t wait to share a more ‘un-official’ me.
‘Un-official’ because, as bloggers, we so often get told to pick a niche. You’ll make more money if you write about just one thing. But with excellent realisation, I can write about what ever the bloody hell I want.
I’m going to keep sharing beautiful styled photos, when I feel like it, on Instagram, because guess what, I like doing that!
Ok, so here’s some honesty for you. This realisation came after two BIG THINGS happened:
- I enrolled in a Bachelor of Food and Nutrition. This came after nearly a year of thinking about it and saying nothing to anyone, including Jay. Out of nowhere on Sunday morning I said to Jay, I think I need to go back to uni and by that afternoon I was enrolled. I love food, as you know, and I love people, as I hope you know. And I’m super excited to combine these two wile I spend the next three years studying my bum off.
- I was supremely jealous of a friend, who is kicking some major goals online. And instead of feeling happy for her, I felt jealous. This is not how I wanted to feel, I didn’t feel nice. Thankfully I had recently read this post, and I was able to identify this feel as not so much jealousy but annoyed that I’m not doing them. But when I really thought about this, I’m not doing those things I dream of doing because I’m comparing myself to others online, and those are the things I think I SHOULD be doing. But really I want to spend time with my family and friends, watch some trashy TV and watch my son grow. My real priorities are different to those I think I SHOULD have.
So after all that, there will still be blog posts, with a much broader focus. You’ll get a greater picture of me as a whole. If you aren’t into that, I get it and am completely un-offended, all of our time is precious and I understand you need to spend yours in the ways that are best for you.
Mostly, I just feel relieved. I’m so relieved that I don’t have to have this pressure weighing me down anymore. And I thank you for coming along for the ride.